Is it any wonder that 40% of the kids born today are bastards? Its her body, there is a million reasons she might choose to have this child, even if she never so much as speaks to your prince again. I assume from the debate that this has become a fact that was inferred due to the women being on birth control. Im happy to have found a father in my father-in-law, who has really become the dad I never had in that he loves me, supports me, listens to me, and even spoils me, haha! iseeshiny Unwanted or not, they are innocent in this whole mess that your boyfriend and his whatever-she-is created. Will he react the same? I dont mean to gush but seriously LBH, I respect you and your opinions a lot on the matter and thanks for making me question my gut responses a bit with your candor! It makes sense that she would do everything she could to convince us that this other woman wanting to keep the child is the worse thing ever because theyre obviously meant to be and this childs existence is a testament to the fact that their (former and/or current) relationship wasnt/isnt perfect. And, you know, your well reasoned logic and stuff. God knows the mother of this child will have no choice but to do that. Please. You deserve each other! Not to say that a single mother cannot give a child the support she needs alone, but as the father if you wash your hands of being in the childs life, you do not KNOW or even have a reasonable expectation (especially if shes a one night stand youve only known for 2 minutes) that the mother will be a sufficient parent. John Rohan She isnt a woman he wants to be with his entire life. Ive been in the position where I chose to keep my baby when the father wanted to abort. For what its worth, Im a married guy and a father. I agree people who are dysfunctional should not stay together for the sake of the kid it will just make things worse. Honestly, I see unfairness in the current system too, but I dont see how you could look out for the best interests of children while simultaneously making everything 100% fair for both mother and father. No one should be shocked or angry when they become a parent after doing the exact thing that causes pregnancy. And its also appalling that he would order a woman to abort. Im not sure why you think this woman is trying to trap your boyfriend unless there are other details you didnt provide. In any event, Im happy to hear what youve shared already! Im just trying to clarify the parameters here. This guy isnt worth anyones time. Been there Stop going backwards. It is scummy though. Maybe because she wants something to love. Its fucking unfair. Why are you so obsessed with sex? If this woman wants to have the child, then she can have it: why is it up to you or your boyfriend to tell her she cant? And the man? landygirl April 9, 2012, 1:15 pm. April 9, 2012, 9:31 pm. April 9, 2012, 6:16 pm. April 9, 2012, 5:48 pm. April 10, 2012, 7:06 pm. Whoever is saying otherwise is simply wrong. Which brings me to my question for LW: You say your boyfriend is 40 years old, but how old are YOU? Made my day! because it is the womans responsibility to take her pill on time, etc if thats the type of birth control shes chosen. Therefore, unless a man has sex only with the intent of becoming a father and only with the intent of never being with another woman, he is an asshole. You sure arent one. Yes, it takes 2 to tango but she is the one carrying the child and an abortion isnt just an easy thing to do. Get your hands off my uterus! -Wants nothing to do with his own child. As well, the LW has no right to call this other woman names, purely because it was the LWs (ex? Terminating his Parental Rights just means he has no say in childs education, no visitaton, etc. Thats what youre always nattering about. He's got to focus on his ex and tell himself she wants to be with him and not the other man in the long run. Everyone experiences the ups and downs of a relationship differently, and the same goes for breakups. Also who goes around talking about how he cant stand the mother of his child? Has she tried to convince him to come back to her? I am amazed at people who think abortion is wrong for religious reasons, but have no concerns about coitus with people outside of matrimony with people they just met for two minutes. Or is she trying to get him to live up to his responsibilities (which he brought on himself when he had unprotected sex and got someone pregnant)? Now, the woman could want it and the dude not want it. Im not arguing that he should be able to force an abortion. Seriously, there are as many babies in my class as there are classmates. Am I being selfish if I tell him not to go to the doctors appts and be in the labor room? She left me for him and and now wants me back. Ill bite. So then, to be clear, your point isnt that gay men are more likely to wear condoms. At this point I dont think it matters how this woman got pregnant: she did. You know, if he was tricked its not surprising that he would say these things. His baby momma, the woman he claims he doesnt love and doesnt want to be with, is threatening to harm herself and the baby if he doesnt be with her. I do plan to stay on my birth control because having a period every month doesnt sound like loads of fun after only having 4 a year for so long. It was definitely his decision too. So, ask yourself why do you allow it? Like getting child support is easy. Just shut up and pay the bills, right? Its when I disagree that I usually feel I want to write a comment. But I answer younger peopleI even have made some comments on Teen Rant. Yep. The woman can choose to abort the baby, even in the event the father desperately wants it, and is willing to raise and support it himself. I think that is fair. Please do better. He should be angry at himself for choosing to take his chances, knowing the possible outcomes. The woman then apparently became pregnant with apparently the guys child. I've always felt like I was put on this planet to be a mom, but when . Let me show you another scenario (that Im ad-libbing from GirlWritesWhat) following that logic: A woman is severely allergic to peanuts. Furthest from the vagina, just saying. And to the LW your boyfriend is not the victim in all of this. It was one of those comments that deserved the opportunity to be liked twice anyway. I understand that there are many times when adoption is the best choice. Do you have a law to fix that? illinois obituaries 2020 . I think its pretty unfair that women have the choice to abort or not, and the man gets no say in that, not really. I think Dan Savage an Santorum have some sexual tension though. lets_be_honest You can look at it like women are lucky- they can opt out at the last minute! I thought you were disputing the comments about it being not that contagious by disclosing that you were HIV positive. My hand has never been comfortable in cooler weather ever since.. At a minimum LW needs to take a wait and see attitude. (yes, I know, lifes unfair). He doesnt want to be with you. April 9, 2012, 6:54 pm. You sound awfully bitter to me. Most women hate giving blowjobs, it seems. My man (were not engaged anymore) begged to see his kids, and they met up and talked. Coke doesnt have to visit you in the hospital and make sure youre happy. I totally agree with you for reasons you likely already understand. BTW, has he heard about condoms?? April 9, 2012, 10:46 am, Im not even sure how to address this letter, so I guess step by step is a good way to go. But it is a dickish move to get someone pregnant and then decide youre not going to be involved in that childs life. but all those prominent male politicians usually turn out to be gay and not hetero at all.. bittergaymark Not only was she on the pill, but he wore a condom! We broke up for 8 hours 2 months in and he met another girl within those 8 hours. If youre a man, your time to prevent having a child is when you have sex and decide how to protect yourself. So, stop with the 19th century stuff about doing the right thing. Women have complete reproductive autonomy. lets_be_honest All it is is having someone served w papers requiring them by law to have a q tip swab their mouth. April 9, 2012, 4:23 pm. Not exactly. No. the manchild gene!! I have been trying to have a rational conversation with people unfamiliar with reason. April 10, 2012, 7:10 pm. So while you were on a break he had unprotected sex with just her or other people too? No one has a condom, Lady says Its cool, Im on the pill and Dude says awesome, I already took my Viagra anyway, cant really run to the store. They bone. And, in fact, there is arguably no way for the woman to actually be 100% certain of her final attitude prior to becoming pregnant. Sleeping with someone so soon after a breakup? Example: Couple agrees to the set-up evanscr05s friend did. And as far as I can tell, it happens an awful lot. Ugh so agree with Amanda. 12, 14, and 16 year old girls are statutorily raped, too, and their rapists? Baby, our apartment isnt big enough for a baby. On the other hand, the intelligent men are just avoiding commitment and having fun at YOUR expense. When he didnt come chasing after you when you moved you knew it was over and done with. Abortion is a very personal choice and whether or not this woman chooses to have one is entirely HER business. If it's been a relatively short amount of time (it's all relative, but I like to say three months or less), since the breakup/last time he/she spoke with you Babies are malarky. Also, HUGE RED FLAG. You deserve that label for attacking a woman that you dont even know, for trying to blame her for sperm-jacking your loser boyfriend and for suggesting that she is trying to trap him. That is how we got our first kid. That was his choice, but what hes done is made you feel sorry for him. Honestly, I did grow up craving a strong male presence in my life and have always gravitated towards male professors or bosses who wee willing to play the role of mentor. April 9, 2012, 3:04 pm, Ill continue playing devils advocate here today Both sexes suffer from inequalities in the reproductive process due to biology. Does that make him an asshole? she may well not be at all thrilled to be pregnant and not expecting anything from this guy. Maybe she IS trying to entrap him. The woman also gets to choose to keep the baby if she wants (even against his wishes), and gets the added benefit of forcing an unwitting and unwilling father into servitude for what is completely and totally her choice by your own admission. Its like people that think women become foster parents for the money. iseeshiny There was a reason for that. IF men want to engage in condomless sex and want a choice (which women DONt have btw, we dont TELL our bodies when we want our eggs fertilized and when we dont, I WISH we could that would be such an intelligent design feature!) I think that the thing to keep in mind is that the angry ranters are really just a very vocal minority. April 10, 2012, 10:20 pm. I just think that if he is saying he doesnt want a child then hes probably not fit to be a parent and the parent who does want a child is more fit. You have the proof he banged her and now they have a child together. If I polled my high school, and under Forms of Contraception I included Pulling Out, Im estimating (based on the number of children at my last reunion) that would be about 70% of respondents methods. If a woman is raped and aborts a child, there is nothing to support. Doesnt interest me. If he didnt want to wear condomwhateverIll even give him the benefit there. Wrap it up or dont have sex, thats the only choice YOU have. bittergaymark Nevertheless, if you choose to sleep with a guy that you are not in a relationship with or have only known for two months, without doubling up on the protection, and get pregnant and decide to keep the babyThen I think you should be aware that a situation like this may happen. The child support goes to support the child. What a laugh. Unbelievable She asked what to do with this guy. But when it comes down to it, men have *zero* say in anything having to do with the child how it is raised, where it lives, etc. The problem is not the other woman, the problem is your man and how you are responding to everything. On a side note: If the adoption had not occured and she went after him for support, he could contest it by stating that it would be detrimental to the child as he has no fatherly relationship with the child and introducing such a relationship so many years later would be harmful. Its not exactly the same by any means, but similar enough for me to have thought it. If you loved him, you wouldn't toss the relationship. Chuck Pelto I dont know how Im going to feel about this baby malarky. It could fail. Putting that opinion into action with either government or private coercion is that to which we have no right. It is time to take a hard honest look at yourself and why you really want to be in a relationship with a man that wants to be with someone else. There are unfair aspects of the whole legal and biological reproductive system for both men AND women. And not even the most important part. Dudes inner-monologue consists of the word Fuck clouded by that ringing noise you get after leaving a concert. he gets another girl pregnant while you are on a break, your fault. Im sure youll do a wonderful job! Oh, and I really dislike when every accidental pregnancy letter we get on here because a huge fest for people throwing around you were too stupid to use a condom or you didnt try to prevent pregnancy at all, when we really have NO information regarding what precautions they did or did not take. reader, lisa4mark+, writes (15 May 2008): A April 9, 2012, 5:46 pm. April 9, 2012, 1:23 pm. It ended because you both were doing your own thing, and you had trust issues. Let him go. I must respectfully disagree with you. He is placing all of the blame of this two minute relationship that resulted in a baby on the women, and that is pretty shitty. It can pick up cells from a previous ejaculation, but peeing flushes them off. He was able to find someone else to keep him company. Especially if ever precaution was taken (birth control, condoms, etc.). The memories you two have together are yours and yours alone. Absolutely, positively, 100% wrong. April 10, 2012, 12:44 pm. Bless This Mess. So it sounds like the mom here mustve been in a postiion to want and/or raise a child. it comes across really condescending and I think it makes people take your reasoning less seriously. And, you are not the choice. 8 Red Flags that Her Pregnancy is a Trap. You pack of hypocrites. I will chalk you up as being an internet hairpuller. The thought of a child waiting for him at home makes going away so much easier. He ordered her to get an abortion? landygirl Be responsible for your own bodies and your own choices. Well, they dont entirely disregard fairness to the mother and/or father, but the childs interests take precedent. It pays and so do the provider of the sperm. just my opinion. And realize that when you have sex, you could very well get someone pregnant. Im also a longtime lurker who was a little taken aback by all the vitriol aimed at this mans head. How do you even know that his man was actually, really furious? You and John are both arguing something that nobody else is. honeybeenicki He delivered, at her request, one-half of a set of DNA blueprints. If you choose to roll those dice against any odds you have yourself to blame if they dont land in your favor. You have no opinion in this matter. Men cant choose to abort because biology dictates that the fetus is not in their body. Dont ever sleep with someone mean or stupid, because if you get pregnant, youre going to be tied to that person for the rest of your childs life. And I was like, Ewww, Mom, thats gross! But it was great advice, and Ive always followed it. One common definition: a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response. What should I do, View related questions: He hides me as well as the other girl. If she did not use protection with him, or ask him to get tested when they got back together, that is no fault of his, imo. Men will never have to make that choice. April 9, 2012, 12:17 pm. I dont know how Im going to feel about this baby malarky. He doesnt want anything to do with his child? All I could think about when I read this letter was what an awful situation that child is going to be exposed to, through no fault of his/her own. Agree. He said hes willing to give that support, he just wont be there to actually raise his future child. Twitter Debates 16-Year Age Gap Between Jaylen Brown & Mouthwatering Meemaw Bernice Burgos, Barbie Gyal Nicki Minaj Returns From Hiatus And Sets Di Road Ablaze At Trinidad Carnival 2023, Rain Pon Meeee: Ashanti Reminds Everyone How Feathered And FINE She Was At Trinidad Carnival 2019, Chaka Khan Shows No Mercy Blasting Mary J. Blige, Mariah Carey & Other Names On Rolling Stone's 'Greatest Singers' List, Funniest (And Pettiest) Tweets From NBA All-Star Weekend 2023. Clearly it is horribly wrong to lie about that but thats not the argument here. All we know is that she wants to have the baby- maybe because shes prepared to be a wonderful parent. She got pregnant. Mmmhmm, I thought so. , CatsMeow I think the LW comes across as bitter and resentful and would rather blame the other woman, making her out to be the villain, than to admit that she and her ex really might not belong together. But I agree no one should tell anyone what they can and cant do with their own bodies. I hope the LW takes note of the fact that Amandas comment currently has 61 likes. Eggzactlee, though I dont burn effigies as we have Spare the Air days in CA. April 9, 2012, 6:47 pm. You do know that birth control isnt 100% effective, right? Everyone in this situation sounds like they belong on Jerry Springer. Ive done that on a number of occasions. Its painfully obvious. For me, the joy of the act is not actually giving it, but the enjoyment your partner gets. Outstanding dont have kids. The woman accepts the ejaculate what she does with it is now her business, and her business alone. SweetsAndBeats He is doing alot better. We only have sex if were ready to be a father? If you were instrumental in the making of the child congratulations it is yours. I dont know. Or could CG be right, and this is all a hoax? I mean, I know guys are suppose to stick up for guys, but come on.. Even SCOTUS pointed that out. Because the bf in question was part of the creation of the child. In a perfect, totally fair world, both men and women would get stuck with pregnancy and rearing of children because they both equally engage in the sex that results in the pregnancy. Honestly, why would you want to put yourself in a permanent relationship who a) has encouraged his baby mommy to abort the child for the sake of convenience and 2) who has sex with people he cannot stand? They shouldnt just play house for the sake of the kid. Its not the situation, but the way its written. It's not that bad (though I'll take an IUD's 0.6%, thanks). .. but what if she did deceive him? Image Source. 4) The boyfriend, especially given his age (and that this cant be blamed on youthful impulsiveness), doesnt look the best in this scenario. April 10, 2012, 7:23 pm. Man is in quotes becuase no man abandons a woman that he impregnates. But condoms should still be used unless the relationship is established and monogamous and both parties are disease-free. This whole thing could have been prevented that way. Men this means condom. Rachel, I have a child in the same situation. Men and women have control over conception on the front end of the decision- and a woman is stuck with the pregnancy. Sure sure you have sex, theres always the possibility of a child. Sigh. Your constant blatant disregard for others is increasingly more and more shocking Plus it is only the heteros that are so steadfast and determined to keep fucking people like me over and over All the while, claiming they want smaller government Then get the FUCK out of my bedroom and out of my fucking life. When I hit the ground, I jumped up, pulled the safety clip off the release assembly and slapped it. You have to grow up and stop this childish immature desiring for a man who keeps you hanging around. If your girlfriend complains that you never take . Its just biological fact- unfair probably, but not something we can change. People think LW is out of line, because she has no right to be pissed at this women for wanting to keep a child, and no right to make up reasons why she is having this baby in the first place. Its not yours to deal with. Regret can feel even worse than heartbreak. Oh, and of course, hes also called a dick, and ass, and other choice names. And if you arent ready for a child, then use a goddamn condom.
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