Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wifes mother. "Today will be a great day". 277. What better way to do that than through your own self-talk? 12. Pat Sajak, 41. "Whatever you do, do with all your might.". This is because, in order to be funny, there are certain details that need to be perfectly delivered. Why cant you trust an atom? It will warm you twice unknown. One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure youre actually funny. Not everyone has to like me. 8. East In life, sometimes you just need to break the tension with a little humor. I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. Relax, its the weekend, just dont blink or it will be all over. Think about all the things you're struggling with in your life. Yesterday I did nothing and today Im finishing what I did yesterday. I dont know how to act my age because Ive never been this old before. 69 Funny Affirmations To Lighten Up Your Mood 78. Friday Affirmations. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? I didnt give you the finger, you earned it. I want to afford them., 2. 122. Sometimes the M is silent. Im not running away from hard work, Im too lazy to run. 154. 124. If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. I am passing all the things and hardships with a smile. 85. If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito. Betty Reese, 9. When nothing is going right, go left. 268. 85 Funny Wednesday Quotes, Sayings, Pics, and Images - The Random Vibez Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? I try to see the funny side of every situation., 3. "I receive what I believe.". IRS: Weve got what it takes to take what you have got. 258. Whether youre saying the affirmations aloud or writing them down, laughing along will only strengthen their effect. 264. 5. I'm amusing and people enjoy talking to me. Im lovely because everyone likes me more than Monday morning!, 7. 61. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. 269. Your email address will not be published. He who laughs last didnt get it. "Your mistakes don't define you.". 59. When shit hits the fan at work, I turn it into fertilizer., 10. These little phrases can be said aloud or written down anywhere to remind yourself that everything will turn out okay. - Kyle Chandler. 269. 172. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. 3. I am happy and joyful. 126. You definitely dont want to kill the vibe by throwing a bad joke out there! Theres life without Facebook and internet? The world needs people like me to keep things interesting!, 15. I cant make everyone happy, Im not tequila. 241. I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. 188. I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. The world is my buffet, and my plate is ready to go. 47. It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor. 235. 3. Start your day on a positive and lighter note with these funny daily affirmations and quotes to get you through. If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut. My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Once you're feeling happy and confident about your sense of humor, use these 35 affirmations to navigate challenging situations with a smile. HAM AND EGGS A days work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig. What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Yeah, so is a grenade. 272. Effective pushing often involves poop. Why couldnt the leopard play hide and seek? Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat., 10. So far, so good. If you woke up feeling drained and blurry, these funny affirmations will boost your energy and get you ready to slay the day! 11. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. 200+ Funny Life Quotes Dripping With Sarcasm And Wit - Scary Mommy Youre born free, then youre taxed to death. 'If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some.'. ". 107. 200 Best Sarcastic Quotes and Funny Sarcasm Sayings - Parade Remember, no one can make you feel anything other than what YOU allow yourself. 213. 49. Here are some tips on how to make the most of using these humorous affirmations: Laughter and affirmations are already powerful separately, so imagine what they can do for you when combined. 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. Short Positive Daily Affirmations. "It's going to be hard, but hard does not mean impossible.". Once youve chosen one of our affirmations or devised your own, its time to put it into practice. The chains on my mood swing just snapped. I am here to live to the fullest. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? I often wish I was someone else Just so I could hang around with someone as awesome as me. I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. If youre looking for a way to brighten your day and amp up your attitude, youve come to the right place. 18. How do trees access the internet? People only rain on my parade because they are jealous of my sun and tired of their shade., 14. 1. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Life is always rocky when youre a gem. I am at peace with my body and accept it as it is. 182. Its a door, thats how they work. 27. Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesnt contain any calories. 97. Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, theyll start using it. You are good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, and strong enough. 7. Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up. I didnt mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. 228. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. The most important thing to remember when using positive affirmations is that it is all about how you feel. 53. Bill Murray 34. I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. 191. First, the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. Any text will do. 44. He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. 237. Funny Daily Affirmations. Then, think about how easy it would be to say a simple statement to yourself throughout the day. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. 160. 217. Why couldnt the leopard play hide and seek? Positive affirmations aren't about tricking kids into mentally looking at life with eyes that only see what they want to see. Ben Hogan. P.D. Dont drink to forget me, youll end up seeing me double. I did not trip and fall. We are going to be best friends forever, besides you already know too much. In between, I am alive. Bill Gates. When you leave work on Friday, leave work. 54. I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. Only two more days until Friday.". 25. Check out our funny affirmation selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our encouragement cards shops. 206. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. 43. It has the power to add levity to our daily challenges. They allow you to focus on the positive and what is working in your life rather than dwelling on the negative. [click_to_tweet tweet=I can always think of something funny to say. quote=I can always think of something funny to say. theme=style4], 2023 Oldtown Publishing LLC 479 State Route 17 N Affirmations are an opportunity to be honest with ourselves and recognize that we have a treasure trove of power and creativity within us. Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time youre overwhelmed, stressed, or just dealing with negative self-talk. 9. Im not here to judge, Im just pointing out all the mistakes youre making. How Do People Share The News About Their Engagements? 300+ Short Positive Quotes to Brighten Your Day - PsyCat Games I would have appreciated exams if they had allowed our Pokemons and Ninjas. "I am becoming humorous day by day.". Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying. Ive been doing nothing for years. I'm having a staff meeting.". My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. Funny positive affirmations do work. I create my life on a quantum level. Daily affirmation: your hair is so much better than it was in middle school., 2. 110. 11. It will just flow naturally. The chains on my mood swing just snapped. 146. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people dont think Im dead. I am sorry not everyone will have the pleasure of knowing me. My mom scolds me for no reason. Honolulu, its got everything. Repeat the affirmation as many times as you see fit. 258+ Funny & Happy Friday Quotes To Explode Your Energy As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Nobody gets out alive anyway. You cant have everything, where would you put it? Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat. 60 Happy Friday Funny Memes Day of the Week - FunZumo If you feel like todays not your day and the best thing would be to stay in bed, Ive got something that will cheer you up. 50. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? 142. Whoever said great things come in small packages hasnt seen my big screen TV. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 17. Use them throughout the day whenever you experience negative thoughts. I can do this. 46. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. Nothing, they just waved. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. - George Burns. 70. Hes dreaming too. 55. And get over it. Mind blown! See more ideas about sarcastic, funny quotes, funny. 30 Short Daily Affirmations for Living Your Best Life - Healing Brave Some when they enter, others when they leave. 79. Steven Alexander Wright I did not trip and fall. They log in. If you have crazy friends you have everything youll ever need. Sincerely, the floor. 62 Funny Inspirational Quotes to Motivate Your Team Your habits become your values. Alright, get in the basket.. When, in fact, we must be optimistic and supportive of ourselves. 1. You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. Inspiring Quotes About Life "Here, we like to keep you inspired by showing you beautiful words of wisdom based . And in that moment I swear I still didn't give a shit. 10. Relaxing the mind with some funny affirmations is an easy way to reduce stress and keep yourself grounded in moments of turmoil. My chins are a stairway to heaven. 263. You never run out of things that can go wrong. People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness. 224. 173. 7. I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. In between, I am alive. And a funny bone. One of the most important aspects of affirmations is how authentic they feel to you. I am positive. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. Quotes To Inspire You (MLK), 80 Life Gets Better Quotes To Brighten Your Day (Hope), 50 Bad Luck Quotes When You Feel Ill-Fated. Life always offers you a second chance. Every day I am devoted to my passions and dreams. Not saying I hate you, but if your face was on fire and I had a glass of water, Id drink it. Still, you need to embrace each of these surprises with same positive conviction and appreciation. 25. This is because, in order to be funny, there are certain details that need to be perfectly delivered. Just as importantly, you can benefit from laughter in everyday situations. My to-do list doesnt include dealing with negative people., 5. Flip Wilson Every day, read them aloud for the best results. It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. 2. So put on your favorite song, take a deep breath, and say these affirmations during your next tough time for some much-needed positivity! My body deserves healthy food and exercise, not junk food or laziness. Today I will embrace the poop., 7. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wifes mother. If you cant laugh at your own problems, call me and Ill laugh at them. Art doesnt transform. Revenge sounds so mean, thats why I prefer to call it Returning the favor. Most of the articles that Ive written about affirmations are about more serious topics: Lets keep things a little lighter in this article shall we? 192. Nobody gets out alive anyway. 22. Breasts dont have eyes. Lorrin L. Lee. Here's some short funny affirmations that will hopefully brighten up your day. "If you see me talking to myself. I like expensive things because I learn the act of taking care from them. 39 funny positive affirmations. People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. When you feel terrified (without your safety being in danger): 5. Im sorry, but thats just the way I am.
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